Hate it!!!!

I hate that I can't lose anything or keep it off! I hate that no matter how hard I try I'm not getting anywhere. I've been exercising 30-60 min a day. I've cut back on my sweets and snacking. I'm watching my portions and STILL no success. I lost a few lbs only to have them come back on. I hate it! I hate the way I look! I hate it all. But I have 5 more weeks on this competition so I'll keep trying and keep hating how I can't be successful. Is it my age? My metabolism? The fact I only get 3-4 hrs of sleep a day? Is it because I work nights? I don't know and I'm too mad to care.